What's up Bollers, welcome to our first film review. Today's film is the inspiration for our Dickinbolz Film logo, "There Will Be Blood". A fitting title for considering what was happening to my schlong from start to finish. Paul Thomas Anderson’s 2007 masterpiece is a brutal, oil-soaked fever dream that’ll have you questioning corporate greed, religion, and whether you’ve got the stones to tangle with Daniel Day-Lewis’s mustache. This ain’t your popcorn-munching blockbuster – it’s a slow-burn descent into greed and madness that hits like a brick to the bolz. Buckle up, because this review’s diving deep into the black gold of cinema, and we’re rating it a monstrous 4.5 sacks (that’s 9 Bolz) for its unrelenting vibe and a performance that’ll make your jaw drop.
Set in the early 20th-century American West, There Will Be Blood follows Daniel Plainview (Day-Lewis), a prospector-turned-oilman with a silver tongue and a heart blacker than the crude he’s chasing. The film tracks his ruthless rise from lone miner to tycoon, striking deals and breaking souls in a dusty town where he clashes with a young preacher, Eli Sunday (Paul Dano), who’s peddling salvation while hiding his own hustle. Loosely adapted from Upton Sinclair’s Oil!, Anderson’s vision strips away the novel’s politics for something primal – a character study of ambition so raw it feels like watching a man wrestle his demons in real time. Bollers, this is no feel-good flick; it’s a two-and-a-half-hour pressure cooker that leaves you gasping like your girl after a good Dutch over.
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Let’s talk Daniel Day-Lewis, because holy hell, this man doesn’t act – he becomes Plainview. Every growl, every squint, every unhinged “I drink your milkshake!” rant (yeah, that line) feels like it’s carved from granite. He’s a capitalist vampire, sucking the life out of everyone around him, and you can’t look away – like watching a car crash in slow-mo. The dude’s so intense, I half-expected him to drill through the screen and demand my soul. Dano holds his own as Eli, a slimy little zealot who’s half prophet, half conman, but let’s be real: this is Day-Lewis’s show. The supporting cast, from the haunting score by Jonny Greenwood to the stark cinematography, builds a world so oppressive you’ll need a cold shower after the fact.
Anderson doesn’t just tell a story; he drags you into a pit of moral decay. The film’s pacing is deliberate, like a predator stalking its prey, letting you stew in Plainview’s paranoia and rage. Scenes like the oil derrick explosion or the final showdown in the bowling alley (no spoilers, but damn) hit like a sledgehammer to the Bolz. It’s dark humor at its finest – not laugh-out-loud, but that grim chuckle you let out when you realize humanity’s kinda screwed. The film’s got no heroes, just flawed bastards duking it out for power, and that raw honesty earns it a permanent spot in the Dickinbolz Hall of Fame. If you’re into movies that punch you in the gut and leave you questioning your life choices, this one’s your jam.
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Okay, Bollers, let’s keep it real – at 158 minutes, There Will Be Blood can feel like a marathon for folks with short attention spans. Personally, I love epics like The Godfather or The Irishman, but I get that ADHD has a hold on the TikTok generation. A few scenes linger like a hungover tailgate, and if you’re not vibing with the slow burn, you might check your watch. But honestly? That’s a minor gripe when the payoff’s this good. The film’s so rich, it’s like overdosing on a double IPA – overwhelming, but worth the buzz. If you’re the type who needs explosions every five seconds, maybe stick to Fast & Furious, but for the rest of us, this is peak cinema.
There Will Be Blood is a beast of a film – a towering, oil-drenched epic that’ll leave your Bolz quaking and your brain buzzing. Day-Lewis delivers one of the all-time great performances, Anderson’s direction is a masterclass in tension, and the story’s a gut-check on greed and power that feels way too real in 2025. It’s not perfect, but it’s damn close – 4.5 sacks for making us feel like we got hit by a runaway rig. Bollers, if you haven’t seen this yet, fire up the TV, dim the lights, and brace for impact. Drop your thoughts in the comments – you feeling the Plainview hustle or nah? Until next time, keep your Bolz bold and your takes bolder.
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